GIRLS, WHO RUNS THE WORLD?

Happy new year everyone!
I'm really glad to be a part of 2013. I only hope it'll be better than 2012.

Anyone whose familiar with beyonce's hit song 'We run the world' can instantly see the 'girl power' message she tries to pass across. So with all her vicious moves and badass attitude in the video, the question I'll ask is- Women, do we really run the world or is my girl B just trying to sell good music?

Here's the thing, I was chatting with my friends and we were discussing life in the entertainment business. One of my tatafo friends brought to our attention some sizzling gist about this beautiful Nigerian artist who apparently is messing with some married top politician and some other 'big boys' in the entertainment world. I was in awe when I heard the news. I mean she's s super talented, does she have to do that?  I asked myself. However,  my friend was quick to reply with this "shes probably trying to be at the top of her game, theres a lot of competition, so she needs the connection and financial backing" another person was like " for women, you don't make it standing, you make it lying down". Lawddddd! That hurt, I swear. And they went on and on. 

In my quiet time, I took time to reflect on the different things the girls talked about. Can women only make it lying down? Take a minute to digest that question. For a brief second, I thought about a few successful women I knew and I shook my head. So really, do women run the world or are we really subjecting ourselves to be ruled by men?

Please drop a line.

ASO EBI PALAVA!

So, it's December again and I'm sure a lot of us have a million weddings to attend, and in Nigeria you may have to buy aso ebi, right? Aso ebi is  an outfit  guests wear to an event perhaps to give them a uniformed look? It's been our tradition for ages.  Celebrants select an outfit their guests and family should wear(it's not compulsory but you might look odd if you don't wear it cause everyone would be wearing it or you might not be allowed into the party) Yes! Some celebrants have crazy rules!  Yesterday, a friend of mine was sulking about the whole 'aso ebi' thing. My dear friend is 'miss popular'  so she has over 12 weddings and somehow she has  had to buy not just the aso ebis but she's on 5 different  the  trains, lol! Meaning she had to pay for the bridesmaid dresses also(I no envy her o!)  She goes 'Bisodun I'm broke, all my money has gone on aso ebi' next thing I knew she started tearing up. I couldn't believe she was crying. She said she had spent over a hundred thousand on aso ebis this December alone and is still in debt.

Okay here's my thing, firstly some aso ebis are ridiculously expensive and you see that's the problem a lot of guests have with purchasing aso ebis? Dear Brides, you know what your friends can afford, so why use an aso ebi worth tens of thousands? There are certainly cheaper prettier aso ebis out there, no one is going to know whether your aso ebi was thirty grand or three grand! It's called taste! Secondly, 'Eyin iyawos' don't think your friends are stupid o, we know the market price of that 'ankara' o! Why over inflate the price? God is watching you in 10D o!!!! Even if you want to put 'fisi' do it reasonably! Pity us now, we are still going to pay Baba Ranti to sew one mad style for us now! Pity us. Thirdly,  sisters out there, it is not a must, I repeat, it is not a must to buy aso ebi o!!!!!!! Please don't go owing money or begging for money because you want to buy aso ebi. A lot of us ladies are guilty of this. 'Gbese' here and there! Let's be bold enough to say ' I love you my dear friend, but i can't afford your aso ebi'.  I'm not Saying people should be malicious and unnecessary reluctant to buy aso ebis o, if you have money please support your friend! And if you don't have, please don't buy,  dont go incurring debts, cause your friend will be the one to suffer for it if you don't pay for her aso ebi you rocked so well that you graced the front cover of those style magazines.

A cousin who got married six years ago said some of her friends haven't still paid for the aso ebi they bought, she has two kids now, and the aso ebi was just two thousand?????? 

Whats your aso ebi palava? Please drop a line!

To be continued............

CATCH 22

What's your crazy tale???

Here's mine

Well, my life has been pretty much straight forward, but one incidence I'll never forget is what happened when I was ten. Till date, it's the craziest thing I've ever had to do! I was vacationing with my family in the UK. My dad told my big cousin(about 18) and I to go print out photos at kodak. So while we waiting for the pictures(which by the way felt like forever) my cousin calculated the money and realized there was change for a burger and fries at mcdonalds! Oh Lawd! Mcdonalds? I could eat their fries even if it fell into a gutter! Thats how much i loved it. We did not mind sharing one burger o!,it was luxury for us back then!) Watching my cousin separate the coins from the notes, made me super excited. The coins were for our burger and fries. For me this was amazing, buying mcdonalds without waiting on mummy or daddy???? I was so excited. We rushed down to mcdonalds which was across kodak, and had a lovely meal. Smiling sheepishly, we made our way back to Kodak to pick up the photos and then we were slapped with a bill way more than what we had baragained for. Chineke! i almost wet my pants. We began to panic. My cousin looked at me, I looked at her. She looked at me again, and I looked at her also.
'Biso, what will we do?' She asked teary-eyed.
;I don't know', I mumbled innocently like a child that i was.
And then... My cousin suggested the craziest thing ever, she said we would have to beg for the balance. I think it was just 75 pence we needed. Beg ke? God forbid! But Omo mehn! We had no choice!
So, little Bisodun went round the streets of London begging for money. Luckily, people felt sorry for me because i was a little child, they handed me chicken feed, some 1 penny, some 5. At last we got our money ready, in fact more than what we needed sef. 90 pence!.
The sad part was that we couldnt pay out transport fare, but trust us now, omo naija, we legged it o! Even though it took us forever.
Atleast we had our photos! Praise the lord! Hallelujah!!!!!!!


What's the craziest thing you've done? pleas drop a line!!!!

A LETTER TO CONSCIENCE

Dear Conscience,

I know we've come a long way and you've been in my life for as long as I can remember but it's time for us to go our separate ways. You spring up from no where and dominate me, dominate my mind, my soul, often times my mouth.  But at this stage of my life, I will not be needing you anymore. I'm tired of you running the show. In the past, i felt this certain peace whenever you surfaced, you made me feel guilty whenever I erred and immediately, I straightened up every situation because i hated the guilt i felt.I was glad I did have you - Conscience.

However, there a million reasons why I will not be needing you in my life anymore. You too dey koba me, Yes, I said it! You've landed me in trouble a million times. Remember Juwon? Yes, Juwon my bestest friend, the only person in the world  that understood me. Remember her? Her bubbling laughter? Her crazy jokes? Well guess what?  I wont be hearing all that anymore. All thanks to you. I wish you never popped up at that very hour. I wish I  never told Juwon i saw Kayode  kissing her cousin at liquid lounge on Tuesday. That was the love of her life, he could do no wrong in her eyes, he made her smile, he was her everything. But you, yes you! had to surface, surface at a time i swear i didnt need you! You proved  yet again, you were way stronger than me, I couldn't even control my thoughts, let alone my lips. Now I've ruined everything for her. Her December wedding will no longer take place. But that's not what hurts, it's the fact she can no longer stand me, she said and I heard her clearly 'why did you have to tell me this?' I should have turned a blind eye and said nothing.

As if that was not enough! I've been the joke in my office for weeks. No one talks to me anymore, not even Moria, the cleaner.  My colleagues can't stand me, perhaps i shouldn't have told oga it was Mr. Kolapo that took her cold water from the fridge. You know very well how oga gets when she's upset? Mr. Kolapo was her scapegoat that day. I should have once again turned a blind eye. Everyone's been calling me names 'gbeborun' 'gbefila'. I hate this! I hate being the reject! These are people I'll be spending almost 10 hours with everyday.How do I fix this?

Conscience, there are so many other things you've messed up in my life. But right now, here's a few I can  remember. I will no longer let you push me around! Henceforth, you will cease taking over  my thoughts, my words and my actions! You shall have no authority over me, your reign is over! Find another heart to dominate, i've decided to go the other route! It seems to me that makes more sense!

Goodbye.

NB:This write up is fictional!

Some of you like me have learnt the hard way with revealing things to people, even to the people closest to you. You wish you never spilled because everything kinda backfired. So I ask, is it better to shut up and mind your business, or spill either way even though you know the news would kill the person? Please drop a line......,

WARNING SIGNS!!!!!

A few days ago, I was doing some serious thinking and then this issue popped up, 'warning signs'. I'm sure we've all at some point ignored warning signs and done things we knew could end up really messed up? But then again we all feel it wouldn't hurt to take risks right? As the saying goes 'you never know', so we go ahead and take major risks! Hmm.....okay so  this topic would most likely be linked to relationships and businesses but it also includes your health, career, academics, friendships, religion, addictions etc. Often times, we see danger signs but pay no attention to them instead we ward them off.

The moment i saw Bade,  i knew something about him was a bit unusual. He wasn't your typical Naija guy. His jeans fit like a second skin, accentuating every muscle on his thigh. They were burgundy in color and as if that wasn't weird enough, glued to the left side of his plaid shirt was a brooch. Yes a brooch! That was the first time I'd see a guy rocking a brooch(in Nigeria at least) He was very neat, fresh faced, well shaped eyebrows  and even offered me hand lotion when I asked my cousin Tara for hers. Tara had been dating Bade for over a year and they weren't playing, they had started talking marriage. They were a fine looking couple and dressed to kill all the time but every time I saw Bade, his style struck me as too feminine, so I wasn't  shocked when he came out of the closet two years later- he was gay. I didn't get why Tara was screaming the whole building down when she found out, the signs were there!!!!!!

I saw the signs, Tara probably did but chose to ignore them or maybe she was just in denial. In conclusion, there are a million and one things we sense or know are not right.We know it in our hearts, but take them for granted, making excuses or are just simply non-challant.  Some times, friends and family see the signs on your behalf and advice you but you get all defensive, sometimes its a warning in your dream, sometimes, it's just a feeling, sometimes its your instincts. Guys,  let's not ignore these warning signs, let's  act now! Follow your instincts, they never fail you. To be forewarned is to be forearmed! Just a thought.
Please share some of the warning signs you took for granted but later regretted because you got into trouble! A lot of us could learn from you.

A LIL CONFESSION........

It took a lot of courage to actually write this post as this is a very intimate and embarrassing topic but I will share my story. I have never admitted this to anyone, and so I think this post is a bit of a therapy. The truth is - I have an "imaginary friend"- a lot actually.

Please don't judge me, it's something I have absolutely no control over. I have had 'them" for the most part of my life and they have grown with me all through the years. I'm not crazy, neither am I sad or depressed. Most people who have imaginary friends are mostly introverts, or people that have been or are subject to abuse or trauma. They use this as an opportunity to vent or heal. We all know, a lot of kids have imaginary friends and it is believed that they get rid of them when they are older(but it's not always the case)

Interestingly, i never had imaginary friends as a little child, it all started in my teen years. In real life, i actually do live a normal life, i have a couple of friends( i'm not an introvert at all, I have loads of fun) decent upbringing, I'm not an only child, but over the years, I've found myself creating these 'characters' and playing out their lives. In the privacy of my room, i would create situations for entertainment, i tell you my characters have a full life of events,and a consistent life history. Right now, I have over 50 characters with names, surnames, locations, dates of birth, spouses, children, siblings, and It has been my routine for years. The only problem is-- I am all of them. I talk as them, and act like them. Like in real life, they have their ups and downs, they laugh, cry, and do everything real life people do. Sadly, some of my characters have passed on.

I've gotten to a stage where I want to get rid of them but it's hard. I'm so attached to them but I think it's about time I stopped. When I'm alone, I find myself slipping into character. It's just so natural. I feel very weird about it and thats why I never told anyone. I just need to know if there are people like me out there?
To be continued..........there's more!

CATCH 22

Let's face it,nearly one in three employees say they have a bad boss. Is it the yelling, throwing and ranting,or the one that takes credit for your work and never gives a positive feedback? A controlling, intrusive, petty, bully? or the one that's harassed you sexually or even went as far as hitting you? Whatever your description is, we've all at some point in our lives had 'horrible bosses!'. However, bad bosses aren't necessarily bad people, but can definitely make your work challenging. A few people have had lovely bosses, rare but true. I know some of us have never had bosses(self-employed, students et al) but in this case, a boss is someone you've or have had to report to, e.g a lecturer at school, a loyal customer etc. So I ask..

DESCRIBE YOUR WORST BOSS?