PLEASE DON'T PULL THE TRIGGER!

Sola and Derin met at Kenny's book reading. Sola was Kenny's best buddy while Derin had tagged along for the event with a friend. Reapplying her lipgloss severally, Derin knew Sola was going to hit on her, he gaped at her like a mysterious painting from Thailand. A few hours later, Sola summoned up some courage and approached her. Luckily, they hit it off immediately and she agreed to dine with him at an Italian restaurant the following day.  As soon as Derin got to the parking lot at the restaurant, a cute little kid approached her with flowers and a note which read " I love your smile" and she gave a wider smile. When she got into the restaurant, there wasn't a single soul. She became frightened, different thoughts running through her head. 
"Hey beautiful!" Someone whispered from behind. 
"Oh my God! You scared me"  she gushed, placing her hands on her chest.
"I'm sorry, didn't mean to" Sola said coyly.
" Where's  everyone, the staff, the guests?"
" Oh them?...... Well........ I made them go for a short break cause I wanted to cook for you myself"
" Awww, you cook? She said, her face flushed bright pink.
From that moment,Derin was hooked! Sola was too good to be true.
9 years and two kids later, Derin had the perfect life. She had the latest rides, clothes, shoes and jewelry and was the envy of all her friends. What they didn't know was that she was suffering and smiling. The very sweet and romantic Sola was now a raging monster. He beat her on a daily basis making her deaf in one ear and as if that wasn't enough, he left her with dislocated hands and legs.
One night,Derin looked in the mirror, she didn't recognize who she saw. She hated who she had become and certainly couldn't take it anymore. She made her way to her kids room, staring at them sadly, she didn't want them witnessing all that violence anymore, in fact her eight year old daughter had vowed  never to get married. She picked up a gun, one Sola had threatened to use on her severally. She headed to their bedroom, and stared at him angrily. Snoring loudly,  Sola was fast asleep. She stood next to him, memories of the series of bashings running through her head. She took a deep pained breath and tapped him, pointing the pistol at him. 
"Oh my God!  he flinched,  lifting his hands in the air.
"Sola, this is for all the pain you have caused me, I want my freedom!" she cried.
"Please don't pull the trigger! He begged.

Should she pull the trigger in return for all the years of physical pain, emotional trauma, miscarriages, harsh words, insults, abandonment, and cheating, that would most likely leave her scared for life or should she just walk away? Sometimes, it gets this bad, some women want to end it all!

Sola and Derin's  deadly relationship isn't news, it happens everyday, all over the world. It is called domestic violence. Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse could be physical, sexual, emotional,economical  or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. These includes behaviours that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race( whether Kim kardashian or Genevieve Nnaji) age( Mama rainbow or mo'cheddah) sexual orientation( Ellen DeGeneres or Paris Hilton), gender( man or woman). It can happen to couples who are married, living together or dating.

I'm sure this is probably the hundredth time you are hearing this topic and you probably want to close this page, but please read on. Domestic violence is very rampant in our society and it seems to be getting worse by the day. In fact, it's now a trend society is slowly accepting. I mean, a girl tells people her man beat her, and they say "you'll manage o, marriage is not easy!". I'm positive we all know people going through domestic violence, either  acquaintances, friends and family. Some people have no idea because the victims never spill but you need to be attentive. You can't see a strange mark on Tara's face, she tells you "I fell off the....... (whatever she cooks up at that moment) and you fall for it.  My people that  bruise on Ijeoma's hand wasn't the burner, It was Chukudis's  Gucci belt. That cut on Feyi's forehead wasn't the door, it was Tunde's fist and finally Zainab's dislocated hand wasn't caused by the trainer at the gym, it was Alhaji! Let's  try to be more attentive.

Although there are different types of violence, physical abuse is the most popular, may be because it often results to death but we must know that even psychological abuse is equally deadly. Some "battered women" who can't comprehend the physical abuse, especially the secretive ones, feel unloved, develop low self esteem and end up feeling depressed. It is this depression that often leads to their death. They end up committing suicide. 

In our society, just a few women have been courageous enough to walk out of violent relationships, majority of them stay giving  different reasons to justify their actions. Some women stay because they took those "vows" and for them, it is really "till death do us part" and often times, death will put them apart because one day, bros will vex and kill sister! Some stay because of the children the relationship produced, some stay for financial support, some stay because they think so low of themselves, they cannot imagine living in this world without their abuser( the abuser has successfully messed with their heads), some stay because of what people would say (no one wants to feel like their marriage was unsuccessful)and of course some stay because Pastor preaches against divorce, moreover the bible also preaches against divorce. Some women have even vowed to die married, than live single! Their marital status has more value than their lives.

The effects of domestic violence vary. Some women become bitter and frustrated and snap at everyone around them, some become very vulnerable and weak, they eventually become depressed and commit suicide, while some seek revenge and kill their abusers like Derin attempted. Either way the end result is pretty ugly.


So I ask and  please I want your honest opinion, if you knew someone going through physical abuse, married or unmarried, I mean, you've even gone as far as witnessing it, what would you do? When is it time for her to flee? please drop a line.................