THE LAW FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME

There are certain immutable laws that simply can't be cheated, for instance, the " in-law"(lol!).  There is no way in the world you can escape having in-laws( as long as you have an intention to get married, or you have married siblings). Frankly, being affiliated with new people should be exciting or shouldn't it be?. However, this isn't usually the case. Most people dread having or meeting their in-laws, most especially, their female in-laws.  As a matter of fact, a friend of mine( single) confessed that she hopes her husband's mother dies before they meet. Harsh right? But homegirl has her reasons. An in-law is  a person who has a legal affinity with another via marriage. They include; parent-in-law, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law. 

Holy molly! The awful stories we hear about mothers-in-law aka  monsters-in-law are completely terrifying. Stereotypically, mothers-in-law MIL(in short),  have a bad reputation. A lot of women don't want a relationship with their prospective MIL for fear of being maltreated. It sure doesn't help that our mothers, sisters and aunties have told us all these scary stories or some of us are actually eye-witnesses. Decades of studies academic as well as social, have revealed that nearly two-thirds of women complain they've suffered long-term stress arising from friction with their husband's mother. Does this sound familiar? Are you in that situation? In turn, mothers- in-law complained bitterly about the exclusion from their son's lives and from their grandchildren.

The in-law drama affects both men and women, but the most common clashes exist between a woman and her female in-laws(sister in-law and mother-in-law). Although men have issues with their in-laws, in-law tensions hit women hardest. Wheeee!!!! 

"I look at my 5 year old son and wonder what sort of mother-in-law I will be. I hope I will get along with his eventual wife, cause my own experience is making me lose it. The folks at Yaba left(popular psychiatric hospital) may be having a new guest pretty soon. I'm on the verge of joining my fore fathers in sky. Call me dramatic but you have no clue, until you step into my shoes. My name is Anu, and I am a daughter-in-law with a mother-in-law from hell and a sister-in-law who I have no doubt dines with the devil( I call her Jezebel). I discovered my mother-in-law was actually a monster-in-law at my first meeting with the family. She openly trashed me, telling her son(my then boyfriend) "Ha! Kola this is not your type, why are you lowering your standards?"  she said staring at me in disgust. My knees went weak, and in that moment, I swear I sensed danger but "love wan tintin" I held on tight. It got worse when he finally popped the question. She immediately called for a meeting, with the attendees being just me and her. "Don't think you can take my son away from me, just know that every act of kindness I show you is because of my baby, understood?, she said, her eyes looking fierce like that of a serial killer, Aileen Wuornos had nothing on her. She sure made her point cause I was too terrified to utter a word to my husband, maybe I should have. What followed were constant insults, rejection,and once even a threat, "I will get my son another wife, shebi emi ni mo bi(I gave birth to him), she bragged, tapping her hands on her chest. "Your food is too salty" "You dress like a slut"( she said that at her church's anniversary)I should have stayed at home jejeli, but I was trying to please her. "When are you having another child?are just a few of the hurtful remarks I would have to endure. She would make nasty comments to her son just to mock me, "Kola you look malnourished" " You look stressed," insinuating I wasn't taking good care of him. Oh! I have wept endlessly in my marriage. I cry every single day. Kola is getting tired of our constant altercations. He doesn't understand why we just can't get along. It doesn't help that he is her only son. On one occasion, she walked into our matrimonial bedroom unawares, ordering her son to step out for their monthly family meeting, our living-room being the venue, Jezebel was there of course rolling her eyes at me. My husband comes home angry every day because she tells him negative things about me. I always state my case but he's slowly losing his grip. My husband and I  barely talk and this is a result of the strained relationship I have with the other women in his life. Before you guys start judging me, thinking i'm some kind of crazy bitch, i have kissed and licked their asses in the past just to make him happy, but these witches mean business. What am I to do? I'm losing the love of my life and my mind! The " in-law" has caught up with me. Women, whether we like it or not, the "in law" will catch up with us".

At the end of the day, the mother-in-law stereotype cannot be generalized, there are actually wonderful mothers-in-law, who treat you even better than your birth mother. Poor mothers-in-law, they always seem to be the brunt of the joke. Often portrayed as overbearing, nosy, bossy, or sometimes, even downright evil.  Some of them actually mean no harm, we could simply translate their actions to mean- "Don't push me away" "Don't see me as a threat"  "Don't patronize me" "Tell me I did a great job raising my son" etc.  Are you a victim of the mother-in-law drama? Are you single and  paranoid about what your MIL would be like? what would you do if you were in Anu's shoes? Please drop a line.............

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