Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. It is often a feeling of sadness, shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance or guilt after one acts in a manner and later wishes not to have done so. Regret can describe not only the dislike for an action that has been committed , but also, importantly, regret of inaction.
Many of us find ourselves wishing we had done something in a past situation differently. There is no such thing as a "life without any regrets". Even the most successful people have regrets. Yes, ask them! I have regrets and I'm sure you do.From losing the one that got away, to picking the wrong career path, or feeling that you married the wrong person. When you look back on your life, is there anything you wish you could change? Most of us would say yes- and we're not alone in that sentiment.
I've been thinking a lot lately and I must confess that I have a few regrets. I'll go ahead and mention one for now.... I regret studying law although it's a good profession and there are many successful lawyers out there! I feel like there's something missing and God knows I don't want to die feeling this way! In the first instance, I studied law because as a little girl I was a "talkative" and we all know how parents would automatically link that to "law". So everyone called me "the law" and I just felt I couldn't disappoint! I went ahead and studied law. Right now, I just fill unfulfilled, I feel there's more to me but I'm still discovering myself. Maybe I should have studied chemical engineering and be making the big bucks in one of these oil companies. Maybe I should have studied medicine overseas and be making the almighty dollar(cause we all know the profession doesn't pay in our country, Nigeria). Maybe I should have followed my dream of becoming a rapper(yes, I rap).But most times, we don't follow our hearts because we are worried about what people would say. Deep down inside you, all you want to do is model? But God forbid, daddy would faint if he saw you in front of a magazine( the honest truth is that daddy will be fine!)You want to sing? Grab the mic! You want to dance? Get down on it! Do you have something you enjoy doing but you can't reveal to the whole world because you fear rejection or condemnation? Trust me, you don't want to have regrets!
Some people have "secret regrets" they wouldn't dare to spill! For them, It's just too painful to talk about.Some of these regrets are mostly when they don't have an opportunity to make it right, may be someone dear passed away and you didn't have a chance to say goodbye, because you weren't on talking terms? You lost your virginity to a loser? And you know you can't get it back, no matter the number of virginity creams you use,lol!). You had that abortion but wish you bore the child? There are people who have had pretty tragic things happen to them. Some people are on the brink of suicide, some are totally depressed and can never forgive themselves. Are you that person? You are not alone!
I regret studying law and I feel so good letting it out!(I just want to scream!)I know you also have regrets or maybe you're that fellow who has got words of encouragement for those of us with regrets! Your words could help some of us heal! Do you have regrets or let me rephrase it, what do you wish you could have done differently? PLEASE SPILL YOUR GUTS!!!!!!
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Nice write up Bisodun. I personally have learnt to live my major regrets in life thus far. They have made me who I am today and I embrace it all, because not being perfect and making mistakes is part of being human. That being said, learning from our regrets and just pressing forward is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteThats the key word, learn from your regrets and press forward.
ReplyDeleteI certainly have regrets, loads of them,but since there's nothing i can do to most of them. I move on.
ReplyDelete"My regret is not getting admission into the university early enough cos of "Almighty JAMB", I always feel that by now I should be in millions instead of still searching for a job at my age. My consolation so far is that am happily married with children and I tank God for that"
ReplyDeleteReally Nice!I have a gazillion regrets but well said by Titi,they are what make me,Me.so I just learn from them and avoid repitition.
ReplyDeleteWooow, where u writing about me?! Looool! I dont regret studying law, but i really didnt want 2 and feel v.unfulfilled practicing it. I have always wanted 2 go into performing arts, music and dance are my soul!! And i love 2 model but at 24, i find myself going from Court to Court, enjoying a stable income and making my parents happy and wondering y i did this in d 1st place. This cant be it, can it?..Obk
ReplyDeleteReally nice. I'm with you on the Law issue, there are times I wish I had studied something else. We all have regrets but the manner we deal with these regrets matters a whole lot. So far there is life I believe we can still do some of those things we regret not doing and learn from those things we cannot change. Life is too short to dwell on regrets, I'd rather find peace within me and move on.
ReplyDeleteomg biso i soooooooooooo feel u on the regret on the reading law part but then again i hav decided to live with the fact that i am a lawyer and always remain one........but then again i hav alot of regrets in life from people i hav dated to people i dnt date but in all things i guess it is what its meant to be and i hav moved on from it...my opinion is just to live life to the fullest...and br happy with urself at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteI regret a lot of tins o! I regret being Nigerian,but I no fit change am! I regret say I vote for jonathan badluck dat standard bastard! I regret say I dey even live 4 9ja. But I still thnk God sha! Bisodun I hail u o! U make sense die!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.....I cried afta readin dis post.I am a 30 years old woman, and to be honest suicide has been on my mind. I have suffered in this life and I regret a lot of tins. I regret being a woman number one.its like being a woman comes with a lot of pains. I was sexuaLly abused by my own uncle at age 7. He made me do crazy tins! As in dat was nt enuf, when I got to uni,I was raped at age 19 and I gor pregnant, ofcos my mother told me to abort the pregnancy! I was ill was years, mentally and physically. Every nite I wud hear d cry of a baby. I feel God hates me! I feel I have such badluck! Why did God even create me to cause me so much pain! I finally married, but I dnt have children and I feel its d abortion dat caused it! I hav been married for five yrs but no child, I avnt even been pregnant once! I regret being me! And life is nt jst fair! I cry! I cry!
ReplyDeleteHey hon! i wish there was an emoticon for hugging right now. It is well hon! Despite all the sad events i honestly believe you will have a good story to tell. As someone who has contemplated suicide a few times, i totally understand where you are coming from. I will suggest you reach out to someone soon though. Will keep you in my prayers.
DeleteAnon 2.37 God luvs u, its all a phase, blive in him, its hard n difficult 2 let go of d past, but u av to in order 2 move 4ward... I dnt even know wat 2 say... It is well. Hmmmn! I av a similar case too, I was raped @ age 18, I got pregnant, baby was growing inside until it stoppd growing. 2 cut d long story short, it was a still birth and I had a caesarian sugery 2 take d baby out. I av put d past bhind me, it wasn't easy though, I stil tink bout her and ow she wld av luked d only ish is now is dt I hate men n marriage isn't a priority nytime soon... I am 27
DeleteDon't feel bad,God knows why u had to do a abortion then...just let d past go and don't think about it any more..cuz I too had an abortion bt as time goes on have to remove it from my mind so that i can move forward...don't worry dear,u gonna be pregnant soon...trust God and ask him 4 his forgivness...
Delete@ anonymous 2.37, just believe and have faith in God, and all will be well. your story just made me cry and i really feel for you. plz dnt ever think of suicide, i know the lord has better plans for u.
ReplyDeleteHave got regrets.....more like secret regrets.......but in all have come to accept myself and my mistakes,learned from them.....and have become a better me.so maybe i wont use the wrd 'regret',cos i av acptd this happening in my life,they can nevr b chnged.
ReplyDeleteBiso ur writeups r just always on point,like ur readin my mind.*thumbs up*
Abisodun, i must say that you are doing a good job and am proud of you. @anonymous 02.37, may God wipe your tears and bless you with your own children. pls dont ever think of suicide again because if you hear other pple's story? hmmmm, you will give glory to God. we all have regrets, like they said "learn from it and move on"
ReplyDeleteHey Bisodun, why don't you try doing a recording of one/two of your rap songs and take them to a music studio, media house, etc, get sponsored and see/discover that its never too late to catch up and bypass the likes of MUNA, EVA, and co. Trust me babe, you are still very young. Your Grammy could just be waiting for you
ReplyDeleteMiss Bee! Beautiful piece as usual. You don't want to get me started o :) I regret studying engineering in school goshhhhhhh! I should have just studied chemistry or pharmacy and i would probably be lecturing as a Chemistry Professor or be a hot Pharmacist by now. Like Titi said those regrets shouldn't continue to define one. I regret not taking time out to tour Europe like i intended as a single person. That's now a thing of the past with responsibilities increasing per second per second!!!!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, there are days i regret a few other decisions i made later in life but in order to stay sane I have to make do and just keep moving. Living a life of regrets would cheat one of enjoying the true essence of life. God help us all.
The fear of laying on my deathbed and rummaging through how my life has panned out and then just having that jolst of regret over things I didn't do, places I didn't go, people I took for granted etc actually makes me live my life to the fullest. So I have regrets but I try to do all I can not to have too many. As long as I do things I feel @ peace with then I'm fine. Having regrets is part of life but for the its the fuel that drives my passion to live a full life!
ReplyDeleteMy greatest regret is not waiting to speak with dat guy I met at d filling station. I havnt been fufilled since den. How I wish I cld turn back d hands of time. I'm still waiting for anoda opportunity which may never come.
ReplyDeleteAm sure y'all are shocked, but even the super fabulous have regrets! Damn! I regret not accepting the blank check my man gave me last mnth! Pride got in d way! The only reason he did dat was cause he cheated! I also regret nt collectn a very prominent man's complementary card, the heffer sent for me, and m jst too proud 2 go to men! Am too fabulous! Men should come to me. But I believe its neva 2 late! Mr prominent Nigerian, we jst mite see again! Till den...am lovin my time in yankers! I dnt regret cropping those valentino shoes sha.lol!
ReplyDeleteGbogbobixgirls, ur an idiot! People r here discussing real life issues but u seem to be takn it for granted! Ps keep ur fabulous life 2 urself! Anonymous who wants 2 commit suicide ps dnt do it! Life is beautiful! Pray 2 God and ask him to guide u and give u strength he will! I regret keepn malice with a frnd for too long, she died just last month! People shud learn 2 forgive easily, life's too shrt! U neva knw wen a loved one will pass on! Rip my sweet frnd! Till we meet again! Am so sorry!
ReplyDeleteKk, e be lik say u get brain tunour. Person dey talk her regret, u dey yarn opata. Imagine if talia no fuck keagan, she go regret go her grave. Gbogbobig gals...carry go jare. My only regret be say I no dey use condom and I dread d HIV test. Pls advise me ooo.
ReplyDeleteAnon 11:53' I swear u don kolo, u still dey fuck 9ja whores without Coms? Guy u dey play with HIV, I'm sure say u don get sef. 9ja babes r sluts" I no trust anyone nt even my mama. Just try play safe, say no to fucking 9ja bitches without Coms. Anyways as 4 me no much regret like that. Just dat I regret say na my papa born me. The guy too fuck up! He just abandon us, leave us with our mama, my life 4 don betta but I no fit blame am, I too dey hustle sha, but I knw things wud av been better if the fool hooked us up with the money he had. Cnt wait to payback the fucker!
ReplyDeleteBadguy, I feel u jare but conji nah bastard. Once I see pussy, my body go just dey shake and before I no wetin happen, I don do skin to skin. I dey fuck ashawo sef
ReplyDelete@ badguy and anonymous 12.33, such a pathetic case. i advise u desist from such acts. a word is enough for the wise.
DeleteWow.if u don't av HIV already just know its cos God Is keeping u for something BIG and dat e loves u.there's a 70% chance u are probably infected.Go for a test 2day.stop dat kinda life..its a suicide mission
DeleteWow! There r so many of us lawyers regrettn y we studied law, oh well ur knowledge of law isn't going to waste,I'm a lawyer as well n trust me I regret too, but den its never too late to pursue ur dreams,just as long as ur still breathn,I'm following my dreams, I love music n entertainment so I'm into advertsing! Voice overs, jingles ,commercials that sort of thing n dats wht I hve passion n talent for (beyonce aint got nuthn on me ℓoℓ!)So guys regret n move on to d next phase dnt retain ur regret remember YOLO( you only live once) so just live ur life 4 u not for family members.
ReplyDeleteLovely piece, have a truck load of regrets but my biggest regret was accommodating my friend cos we were friends for awhile (good friends), thought knew him well until one weekend, he told ε̲̣̣̣̥ he was going home but unfortunately he went †☺ my Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ stole Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ when he was caught he lied that sent him...he drop out of school afterwards Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ haven't seen him since then. Never wish †☺ see him again though
ReplyDeleteits so funny how just on sunday i talked about things i wish i never did. bottomline is that we will all have one regret or the other but the most important thing is this question "are we still doing things we are regretting or would regret in the future?" if you answered "Yes" then you need to make a big decision. if some of us are given another chance, we'd probably still make the same mistake(s). Let us learn from our mistake(s) and move on from it(not that easy though)
ReplyDeletewww.olivewright.blogspot.com
I regret not marryn d love of my life, we cudnt get married bcos we were both as(blood grp). I loved him so much. I was willing to risk it with him but my folks kicked against it. I remeber that nite vividly, I cried so hard. We even secretly continued our affair until he relocated. My life has nt been d same. I wish I took d risk. He is now married with kids n where am I? Single n miserable.I blame my parents evryday.
ReplyDeleteUche, we av similar stories d only differnce is dat I married some1 else n dis person is my regret.he cheats on me, and oppresses me. He comes home late and so deres no time to talk, we have no relationship even tho he is d fada of my 2 kids. He even got anoda girl pregnant and I have to deal with dat nw. My heart bleeds. This man is my biggest regret! I cnt leave him bcos of our kids, moreova where will I strt frm, am a housewife. I shud av marrued the love of my life, jst unfortunate he was AS like me. My parents shouted bcos my sista was SS and died, dey dnt want dat same pain for deir grandchild. I miss my love, I still love him and I hope we meet again.
DeleteIts actually funny how sooo many people regret studying law, at the end of law school! Lol. By the way Bisodun, I wanna hear u rap! :-)
ReplyDeleteI regret so many things.
ReplyDeletePardon 4 my shells.
I regret so many things, like the degree I have today, I ended up studying business administration. I can only share that for now, sorry. I pray and I know God would guide me in discovering myself more.
One thing I regret most was chasin one of d most wonderful guy in my life,becos of lack of patient, well I accept life in another angle, but I wished I could see him again, and prove 2 him am a changed person.
ReplyDeletei regret not giving my life to Christ early. i would have avoided so many mistakes i made in life..
ReplyDeleteI regret ever helping my "frnd"gain admission to my school as well as housing her.she was an advantageous jelous BITCH.
ReplyDeleteI never gave him a chance, I think that is why he introduced me to the the recent breakup. I found someone else but he knows him too. I actually like this one,I feel like I owe him a big appology. I will do that soon, it is just painful how I told him no, playing it in my head recently. He has other babes now, and I pray God blesses him with someone better than me.
ReplyDeleteI have regrets ofcourse but nothing that causes me to lose sleep. Maybe its because I just take everything in stride or because I am still quite young (19). I am not in love with the course I'm studying at the moment but I have decided to get a 2nd degree in Economics. Which is something I like.
ReplyDeleteI'm touched by some of the comments and all I can say is Be Strong and believe in God. Also, if you can still do anything about it, don't hesitate to. I hope I never do anything I regret that much anyway because I can be very impulsive.
Bisodun, (I think your name is BEeeautiful!) Ur blog is really wonderful and real. 1 of the best I've come across. I think you can still do some things you wanna do. Maybe not all the things you wish you could do but doing a little would give you some form of satisfaction. We could do a track together; I'm into music and I have written a couple of songs.
Till then, God Grace! ;*